Battle With the Britons! Page 4
Septimus leaned over to get an even better look.
“FISH? You are more of an imbecile than I gave
you credit for, Donkey!”
Julius shrugged. “Oh,
well. I tried!” And with
that, he plunged into the
sea with his friends.
Haul those
idiots out!
This chain mail
is too heavy!
G
l
u
b
.
I’m
sinking!
I’m
sinking!
H
e
l
p
!
Unfortunately, as soon as he plopped in, Julius
realized that he could barely move.
In fact, the chain mail was dragging him under.
He frantically looked around and saw that all his
friends were also struggling to stay afloat. “HELP US,
SEPTIMUS!” cried Julius. “WE’RE DROWNING!”
What did you think
you were DOING?
Carpe
diem and
all that.
Fla
p!
F
lo
p
!
“SEND THESE BLUBBER BRAINS DOWN
TO THE HOLD!” shrieked Septimus. “I’LL DEAL
WITH THEM LATER!”
“I’m so sorry. I nearly killed us all off,” sniveled
Lucia as they were led down the hatchway. “I’ll think
of a better plan next time, I promise!”
Using boat hooks and a fishing net, the crew
hauled the animals back on board with a big wet
PLOP. They flapped about on the deck like
floundering fish, but they weren’t fooling anyone.
Then we
can have
as long a
vacation as
we want!
“You really do live in a dream world, Zebra!” said
Milus as he jumped into his hammock. “Hasn’t this
trip taught you ANYTHING about these Roman
scoundrels?” He picked up his knapsack and started
to rummage inside it. “The only escape from these
wretches is DEATH!”
“Oh, nice!” said Julius.
“Don’t worry about it,” said Julius as he pulled
off his costume. “It looks like we’re going to have
to stick it out on this stinking slave ship. Once we
reach Britannia, we’ll just need to make sure we win
Hadrian’s tournament — and our freedom.”
HE
Y!
W
ho
’s
be
e
n
ea
ti
ng
m
y
bi
sc
ui
ts
?
He turned to Julius. “It must have been YOU!”
he snarled. “While we were all splashing around in
the water, you must have sneaked back here and
eaten them!”
“Are you CRAZY?” said Julius. “I was distracting
Septimus all that time!”
Milus suddenly became very agitated and sprang
out of his hammock.
When I find out
who boosted
them...
Gulp.
they’ll regret
EVER crossing ME!
Milus hurled his knapsack to the floor and
grabbed Julius by the throat. “Being stuck on
a ship heading toward certain death with you
NINCOMPOOPS is bad enough,” he snarled,
“but someone stealing my BISCUITS is the last straw.”
Bleurgh!
“Three weeks we’ve been stuck on this rancid
ship. . . .” gasped an exhausted Julius, his head
hanging over the side. “If I never see another wave
again, it will be too soon.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
LAND OF HOPE
AND GORY
And where has your god
Neptune been all this time?
Well, you’re still
alive, aren’t you?
“At least this time we haven’t been cramped up in a
tiny box,” squeaked Cornelius, also hanging his green
face over the side of the ship.
Julius let out a deep sigh. “Not only has Septimus
got us working day and night, but I’ve got that
INSANE LION thinking I yoinked his biscuits.
Things couldn’t be more unbearable!”
Cornelius looked up to the giant square sail,
buffeting in the breeze. “Don’t worry, Julius. We’ve
had two days of fair wind, so we should be there
very soon.”
Julius gazed off into the distance. “I don’t think I
could suffEEUURGH!” He retched over the side again.
“Sorry. . . . What I meant to say is, I don’t think that I
could suffer another day of this trip, Cornelius.”
I’m the
PEOPLE’S
CHAMPION!
“HEY! WILL YOU TWO DIMWITS GET BELOW
DECK?” boomed a voice from the captain’s cabin.
“UNLESS OF COURSE YOU ACTUALLY WANT
TO BE WASHED OVERBOARD!”
Cornelius plopped himself down on the deck,
exhausted. “That Hadrian really is a jerk,” he said.
“He must have known what a long, treacherous
journey this was going to be. I’ll never forgive him for
pretending it was some nice day out.”
“Don’t you worry, Cornelius,” said Julius as he
plonked down next to his friend. “Once we win the
tournament, we’ll show those Romans who they’re
dealing with!”
The two seasick animals dragged themselves up
and walked slowly back to the hatchway to the
lower deck. But as they started climbing down the
ladder, a great roar of “LAND HO!” came from
the lookout on the bow of the ship.
They both turned to look. On the far distant
horizon, a dark sliver of land began to appear through
the mist.
BRITANNIA!
This is SO exciting!
We’re at the end
of the world!
“Exciting, but perhaps very dangerous,” warned
Cornelius. “From what I understand, the local
barbarians are extremely fierce and are none too
happy about the Romans taking over their land.”
“Yeah!” said Rufus nervously. “I heard some of the
crew say that the place is swarming with gruesome
monsters, like HEADLESS MEN!”
All the other animals rushed up on deck and gaped
at the strange new land.
Gulp!
Well,
I’m glad you
asked!
Excited to be
spouting facts
“Er, I’m not sure about the headless men,” said
Cornelius, “but there are definitely plenty of weird
people living on this island.”
Lucia became very excited. “Ooh, what fun! Like
who? Who lives here?”
Here I
come!
They like to roam around NAKED
in swamps all day.
They are a VERY tall
race and they walk in a
GOOFY WAY.
“The local inhabitants are called BRITONS.
They are also
&n
bsp; VERY FIERCE
because it is so cold
and miserable. And
when they get cold,
they wear the SKINS
OF ANIMALS!”
They paint their
bodies in amazing
INTRICATE
PICTURES,
sometimes of animals,
to harness their
powers.
Y
ip
p
e
e
!
“Thanks, Felix,” said Julius. “Your antlers would
also make a lovely hat.”
“You leave my antlers out of this!” squealed Felix,
putting his hooves up to defend them.
“I think I’m starting to look forward to this
tournament!” said Julius. “I wonder what weird local
animals we might be up against. I’m guessing they
don’t have camels or lions in Britannia.”
“You know what?” said Felix. “If I were to wear
any one of you as a skin, it would probably be Julius.
You’d make a lovely pair of stripey pants!”
Bu
t
th
er
e
ar
e
ta
le
s
of
fe
ro
cio
us
w
olv
es
an
d
be
ar
s!
No!
“The only thing I’m looking forward to,” growled
Milus, “is finding out who ate my BISCUITS!”
“Oh, will you shut up about your STUPID
biscuits?” muttered Julius.
CHAPTER EIGHT
BRITON ROCK
Wow! This
is a million
miles away
from the
crazy world
of Rome.
As they thumped into the jetty, Julius spotted the
unmistakable figures of Roman legionnaires standing
atop the towers and along the wall, keeping watch
over the comings and goings of the small port.
Julius and the other animals stood shivering on the
deck as the ship drifted through the frozen mist. The
gray-brown landscape with its scattering of skeletal
trees loomed silently as they pulled into the dock.
Julius could make out what looked like a long
wooden wall with a tower constructed at either end.
Make way, foul beasts!
Hey!
“Look at him all dressed up in his warm furs!” said
Julius.
“It gets a BIT CHILLY up here,” Septimus called
out as he breezed past the trembling animals. “You
might want to get yourselves wrapped up!”
“That must be a fort,” said Cornelius. “The Romans
sure have a lot of troublemakers keeping them busy.”
Some vacation!
I hope you
want your
grave cold
and damp,
Zebra!
“You know, Milus,” sighed Julius, “I’m so glad your
cheery, furry little face is always around to fill me
with the joys of spring.”
“COME ON! CHOP, CHOP! Don’t just stand there!”
barked Septimus. “Get your packs and follow me.”
They grabbed their belongings from the hold and
were led up the jetty to a waiting horse-drawn cart.
“Jump on the back. We’re heading straight to
Londinium, and we need to get there before dark. SO
NO MESSING AROUND!”
Septimus marched off to fix the reins of the horses,
and Julius looked over to the beach. “Say what you
want about Britannia, but that really is a lovely beach.”
It kinda
does feel
like we’re
on vacation!
Aha! I always get a
stone from wherever
I visit, and this is
PERFECT!
“Just look at all those tide pools,” said Rufus. “I bet
you could find some crabs in there.”
“Ooh!” cried Felix. “I bet there are some
AWESOME rocks, too!” He dashed over to the
water’s edge and rifled through the pebbles and
stones that lay scattered in the mud.
I got him!
I got him!
Cornelius, wearing his sun hat, joined Julius on the
beach.
“Nice hat, Cornelius,” said Julius.
“Why, thank you,” said Cornelius, giving it a slight
adjustment. “I know it’s cold, but this hat makes me
feel like I’m on vacation.”
Meanwhile, Lucia and Rufus were wading in a big
tide pool with a fishing net, trying to find something
to catch.
“THERE!” cried Rufus. “A little crab! Get the little
guy! Get him!”
I said get on
the back of
the cart!
Did you know that Romans wear
the same hat to protect them
from the sun AND the rain?
No, I did
not know
that!
Not
have a
siesta!
Ulp!
!
“NOW GET YOUR HAIRY BOTTOMS ON
THAT CART! IMMEDIATELY!”
Suddenly, Septimus appeared, looming over them.
“HAVE YOU ALL GONE INSANE?” he
screamed, pulling at his hair.
Help me with
my knapsack.
I can’t lift it!
Julius, Cornelius, Lucia, and Rufus all dashed to
the cart, where they found Milus lounging at the
back. He just tutted and shook his head at them in
disbelief.
“WAIT!” cried Julius. “Where’s Felix?”
From the beach came a strained cry. “JULIUS!
GUYS! COME AND GIVE ME A HAND!”
“That antelope is going to get us in so much trouble,”
huffed Julius. “Come on, before Septimus notices.”
Back on the beach, Felix was struggling with his
bulging knapsack.
Huff!
O
O
F
!
They all grabbed the pack and tried to lift it up, but
it was impossible.
“This is ridiculous!” gasped Julius. “What have you
got in there?”
“It’s my rock collection,” said Felix. “I take it
everywhere I go.”
“We’re going to have to drag it,” said Cornelius.
“And be quick about it, before Septimus sees us and
explodes like Mount Vesuvius.”
Between them they were able to pull it over to the
cart, but they still
couldn’t lift it onto
the back.
“I’m sorry, Felix,” said Julius. “But you’re going to
have to lose some of your rocks. You can’t carry this
pack around everywhere.”
“NOOOO!” cried Felix. “You can’t make me!” He
tried again to heft his pack up, but to no avail, and he
finally collapsed in a heap. A small tear trickled down
his cheek.
Cornelius sat next to Felix and put his arm around
him. “Come on, buddy,” he said. “Maybe pick your
all-time favorites and we can go from there. I bet
&
nbsp; there’s some you don’t really need.”
Felix just sat there, looking glum. “But I love ALL
my rocks.”
“We can help you choose!” said Lucia. She
convinced Felix to empty his knapsack and lay out
all his rocks neatly on the ground. Everyone stood
back and stared in awe at the strange and wonderful
collection.
What in the name
of JUPITER is
going on here?
“We’re trying to help Felix with his rock
collection,” said Julius. “He’s having trouble deciding
which ones to keep and which ones to leave behind.”
Septimus grabbed a handful of the rocks, walked
over to the water’s edge, and hurled them into the sea.
“There,” he said, brushing his hands. “Now let’s
MOVE IT!”
“To be fair,” said Julius, “that is a pretty amazing
collection!”
Julius gaped at the endless green fields and ancient
woodlands as their cart rolled along the smooth
Roman road. Occasionally, in the distance here
and there, he could spot odd-looking round houses
with roofs of straw and walls of mud. “Why did the
Romans come to Britannia? It’s just fields and trees!”
said Julius. “I haven’t seen one person out here yet.”
“Don’t worry,” replied Rufus, who was keeping a
watchful eye. “I’m sure we’ll come across some of
those gangly weirdos before you know it!”
Bored with looking at fields, Julius snuggled down
among the packs and drifted off to sleep.
In his dreams he found himself being chased by a
tall, scary monster.
CHAPTER NINE
LONDINIUM CALLING
BRUTUS??
No
on
e’s
ste
ali
ng
yo
ur
leg
s!
Ge
t