Battle With the Britons! Read online

  instructed. Septimus marched up and down, looking

  at them sternly. “This voyage is going to be a VERY

  LONG one, and I intend to keep you all busy on

  this ship.”

  Geez! Who

  wants to see that

  horrible thing?

  I heard

  that,

  Donkey!

  Scr

  ub

  Scrub

  Ignoring the lion, Septimus continued with his

  lecture. “In fact, we will start with SCRUBBING

  this filthy deck! Everyone grab a bucket and brush.

  QUICKLY! I want it so clean and shiny I can see

  my FACE in it!”

  Farewell,

  old friend!

  Julius polished the rotten wooden deck as hard as

  he could, but he was nowhere near getting anything

  like a shine on it. “This is pointless!” he gasped. “My

  arms will fall off before we see Septimus’s ugly mug

  on this deck!”

  Felix leaned over to Julius. “Milus was right: this

  isn’t a vacation! This is WORK!” he whispered. “I

  think I would rather have stayed at gladiator school!”

  As they all furiously

  scrubbed away, the ship

  pulled out of Ostia.

  It’s SLAVERY,

  is what it is!

  I’m not doing

  THIS the

  entire trip!

  Plop!

  Lucia and Rufus inched over to see what everyone

  was whispering about.

  “Are you all moaning about doing these dumb

  chores?” asked Lucia very quietly, peering over her

  shoulder to make sure Septimus wasn’t looking.

  “Yeah, you could say that!” huffed Julius, struggling

  to keep his voice down.

  Felix plopped his brush into the bucket of soapy

  water and straightened his stiff back. “I’m pretty sure

  Cornelius shuffled over to join in the grumbling.

  What’s

  going

  on?

  Put your

  BACKS

  into it.

  GULP!

  Yikes!

  HEY! You haven’t got

  time to sit around

  CHATTING!

  “In fact,” roared Septimus, “you can all give me

  fifty jumping jacks!”

  “WHAT?” blurted Felix, getting up on his hooves.

  “Did your mom take you on vacation to boot camp

  or something? This is RIDICULOUS!”

  vacation means going away and having a nice time,”

  he whispered. “And I can tell you now, I am definitely

  NOT having a nice time —”

  That

  expla

  ins

  a

  lot

  about

  that

  bully.

  You’re

  telling

  me.

  Finally they all flopped to the floor, exhausted. “All

  I can say,” wheezed Julius, “is that this tournament

  had better be worth it!”

  “Fear not, Julius,” Cornelius announced. “I have

  seen a sign that our fortunes are favored by the gods!”

  Julius rolled his eyes. Here we go again! he thought.

  Cornelius and his la-la superstitions.

  “Yes she DID, actually,” replied Septimus,

  smiling fondly. “Best days of my life.” He thumped

  Felix on the shoulder. “YOU can give me an extra

  fifty jumping jacks for being a wise guy.” Then he

  disappeared toward his cabin.

  See how the

  wind blows in

  from the east?

  Cornelius then pointed to Felix, who had accidentally

  kicked over his bucket of water. “And see how water

  has been spilled? To spill water when the wind blows in

  from the east is a sure sign that Neptune, god of the sea,

  wishes us well on our voyage!”

  “And a sure sign that Felix is a clumsy half-wit,”

  growled Milus.

  Suddenly, Septimus reappeared on deck.

  “UH-OH! Watch out!” said Julius. “Look busy!”

  The warthog pointed to the big sail fluttering

  above them.

  Let’s see

  exactly how

  hard you’ve

  been working!

  He must have

  good eyesight.

  All I can

  see is wet

  wood.

  Septimus paced up and down, scrutinizing the

  sparkling deck.

  “Well?” Julius called out. “How did we do? Can

  you see your glorious face now?”

  Septimus spun around and glared at the cheeky

  zebra. “All I see, Donkey, is a bunch of USELESS

  DEADBEATS!”

  AAIEE!

  My eye!

  Bo

  ink

  !

  “Here’s your dinner. Take these biscuits down to

  the hold, where you’ll find your sleeping quarters. I’ll

  see you back on deck AT THE CRACK OF DAWN.”

  And he marched back to his cozy cabin.

  Julius and his companions wearily pulled

  themselves up and headed toward the wooden ladder

  that led below deck, trailing stale biscuit crumbs

  behind them.

  Septimus marched over to the exhausted animals.

  “You’ll have to do better than this tomorrow, beasts.

  The empire won’t tolerate a filthy ship.”

  From a knapsack he tossed small brown biscuits at

  the animals.

  EURGH!

  This place is

  soaked!

  He squinted into the murkiness and could just make

  out piles of broken jugs and rotted crates from voyages

  past. As he edged forward, his face was suddenly

  tangled up in what felt like a huge cobweb.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  STINK HOLE

  As they clambered down the slippery ladder, they

  found a gloomy, very stinky hold. Julius jumped down

  the last few steps, only to splash into a big puddle.

  ARR! The spiders

  have got us, too!

  We’re

  trapped!

  AAIEE!

  Help!

  I’ve

  been

  captured

  by spiders!

  The others came rushing over to rescue their

  stricken friend. “Don’t panic, Julius!” called Cornelius.

  “We’ll save you!” But the more they tried to pull Julius

  free, the more everyone got twisted up in the web.

  It’s

  not

  a

  cob

  we

  b,

  you

  foo

  ls.

  It’s

  a

  ham

  mo

  ck!

  “A hammock? What’s that?” asked Julius.

  “What does it look like?” said Milus, lounging back

  comfortably. “It’s a BED!”

  “A BED?” cried Julius, befuddled. “How

  EXCITING!” He pulled the net off his friends and

  smoothed it out with his hooves. “Anything’s got to

  be better than those rotten sleeping cells back in

  Rome!” He laughed as he leaped into the air, expecting

  to flop onto his strange new bed. But instead he fell

  From behind them came a low, growly laugh.

  Actually,

  I take that

  back.

/>   As he pulled himself up and wiped muddy water

  off his bottom, Julius let out a big sigh. “I’m not sure

  I can put up with these traveling conditions.”

  Cornelius tentatively pulled himself up onto a

  hammock, which seemed to hold his weight as it

  swayed with the rocking ship. “Hadrian thinks we’re

  all People’s Champions, but I think we’re being

  treated pretty badly, don’t you?”

  right through the threadbare net and straight into the

  big puddle on the floor.

  I have A PLAN!

  She signaled to Rufus to check whether any

  Romans were listening from above. The giraffe poked

  his head up, then gave the all clear. The crocodile

  gathered everyone into a huddle.

  “I tried to warn you!” said Milus. “These Romans

  are rotten to the core!”

  “But what should we do?” asked Julius. “We’re

  the PEOPLE’S CHAMPIONS! We should not be

  scrubbing floors!”

  Lucia suddenly put up her claw. “Do not fear, my

  friends,” she whispered, beckoning them to come

  closer.

  I’m still itching

  after your last

  escape plan!

  Scr

  atc

  h!

  S

  c

  r

  a

  t

  c

  h

  !

  “There’ll be no mustaches — I promise,” replied

  Lucia.

  “But we will be wearing brightly colored checked

  pants again, right?” asked Felix. “I thought I looked

  PRETTY spiffy in those fancy pants last time.”

  Lucia shook her head. “Sorry, Felix, no fancy

  pants, either.”

  Felix let out a big HUFF and kicked a clay pot.

  “Before you start,” interrupted Cornelius, “just so

  you know, I’m NOT wearing a stupid mustache.” He

  scratched his nose.

  Nobody

  say a

  word.

  “What’s the plan then, Lucia?” whispered Julius,

  rubbing his hooves together with anticipation. “Spill

  the beans!”

  “Check this out!” she said, and from her knapsack

  she pulled out some very fine chain mail. “Rufus and

  I were poking around down here, and we found a

  whole stash of this stuff!”

  “This is DEFINITELY the worst vacation I’ve ever

  been on!” He sprang grumpily into his hammock,

  which flipped him over and dumped him onto

  the floor.

  W

  e’

  re

  d

  re

  ss

  in

  g

  up

  as

  FI

  SH

  !

  In fact, I

  think there’s

  enough for

  ALL of us.

  “Enough? Enough for what?” asked Cornelius

  suspiciously. “Are we dressing up as soldiers and

  FIGHTING our way off the ship?”

  “Nope!” said Lucia as she began wrapping herself

  in the chain mail.

  We’re all

  going to die,

  aren’t we?

  Uh ...

  Right.

  “FISH?” everyone echoed in unison.

  “Yes!” replied Lucia proudly. “This might not look

  like much at the moment —”

  “You can say THAT again,” growled Milus.

  “BUT,” she continued, ignoring the lion, “once

  Rufus and I have finished making the costumes, we’ll

  all dress up as FISH, sneak up on deck, and JUMP

  into the sea!”

  Cornelius was not impressed. “This has to be

  the most RIDICULOUS idea I’ve EVER heard!” He

  tugged at Lucia’s chain mail. “As soon as Septimus or

  one of the other Romans hears a big splash, they’ll

  look overboard and see us fools swimming around.”

  “EXACTLY!” chimed in Rufus. “But they won’t see

  US. . . . They’ll see FISH!” He held out his hooves as

  if he’d just performed the most amazing magic trick.

  Hmmm...

  You know

  what?

  I actually

  think this

  could work.

  “It IS pretty shiny and slippery, just like fish scales,”

  he said, holding it up to the light. “Maybe it’s worth

  a shot!” He turned to the others. “Come on! Do you

  want to be scrubbing moldy decks and doing jumping

  jacks all the way to Britannia?”

  Lucia looked at the blank faces around the room.

  “And then we swim away and get FREE!” she added

  enthusiastically. “Don’t you see? The chain mail looks

  like shiny fish scales! It’s an AWESOME plan!”

  Julius jumped up and had a good look at the chain

  mail for himself.

  We can have

  the longest

  vacay EVER!

  The

  n

  let’s

  dres

  s

  up

  as

  FISH

  and

  SWIM

  to

  the

  near

  est

  beac

  h!

  “OK, I’ll do it,” said Felix. “But only if I can be a

  halibut.”

  Julius patted him on his shoulder. “You can be

  whatever fish you want.”

  Felix jumped up and punched the air with his hoof.

  “Then I’m IN!” he roared.

  Julius turned to Cornelius. “And you?”

  Everyone shook their heads.

  “NO. I just wanted a nice vacation like they

  promised,” wailed Felix.

  What? You

  expect me to stay

  on this boat with

  THIS GRUMP?

  Hey!

  “I’m coming, too!” said Milus. “It’s a stupid plan,

  but I’m not hanging around on this lousy ship.”

  “Then it’s decided!” declared Julius. “We’ll help

  Lucia and Rufus make the costumes, and we’ll make

  our escape as soon as the sun rises!”

  Wakey

  wakey,

  everyone.

  Time to

  get this

  show on

  the road.

  CHAPTER SIX

  GONE FISHING

  “WAKE UP, YOU DEADBEATS!”

  Septimus’s voice boomed down the hatch. “TIME

  TO GET UP AND SCRUB THOSE DECKS!”

  Julius rubbed his tired, bleary eyes with his hooves.

  They’d been up all night making fish costumes, and

  now they had to put their plan into action.

  I’ll have my costume

  in my bucket!

  “As soon as Septimus and the crew go to look at all

  you ‘fishes,’ I’ll throw this on, then dive in after you,”

  said Julius. “OK!” He bundled his fish costume into

  the bucket. “Are we all ready?”

  “We’re going to need a distraction,” said Julius.

  “I’ll go up on deck and pretend to scrub. I’ll keep

  Septimus chatting while you all jump in the sea.”

  “But what about you?” asked Cornelius. “Aren’t

  you coming with us?”

  Nearly.

  Hold on!

  Hey
! Have

  I got your

  costume?

  Ready!

  This is

  huge!

  Yep!

  “Don’t forget,” said Julius as he climbed the ladder,

  “wait till I’ve got Septimus talking before you jump

  overboard!”

  He scampered up the ladder and out onto the deck,

  whistling innocently. He waltzed over to the far end

  of the boat and started pretending to scrub the deck.

  Septimus stormed over to him. “WHAT’S GOING

  ON, DONKEY? WHERE ARE THE REST OF

  THE LAZY BEASTS?”

  “That’s our cue, lads!” whispered Lucia, and they

  sneaked up the ladder and out onto the deck.

  I can’t see

  where I’m

  going!

  Be quiet!

  This way.

  Hurry!

  Is it all in

  the wrist or

  the elbow?

  Scrub!

  ?

  Sc

  ru

  b!

  Septimus looked furious. “What are you babbling

  about, Donkey? I have no time for this nonsense!”

  Behind Septimus there was a sudden shrill scream.

  Julius kept Septimus talking to distract him.

  A

  A

  IE

  E

  !

  “WHAT IN JUPITER’S BEARD . . . ?”

  roared Septimus. He dashed to the side of the ship

  and saw a strange mass of figures thrashing about in

  the water.

  “MAN OVERBOARD!” came the cry from the

  helmsman.

  Septimus leaned over for a closer look. “Those aren’t

  men! THAT’S A CROCODILE, A WARTHOG,

  A GIRAFFE, A LION, AND AN ANTELOPE!”

  Having hastily put on his fish disguise, Julius

  flip-flapped to the side of the boat. “Wait! Surely

  they’re FISH!” he cried. “See their shiny scales?

  Is that . . . a GIANT HALIBUT? Best let them go,

  Septimus!”